


Mercy

by bananasandroses (achuislemochroi)



Series: Whofic [72]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 2X13 (Doomsday), Angst, F/M, Rage, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9682520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/bananasandroses
Summary: Every part of you aches to, although you know you can’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this came from the Anglican service of Evensong (specifically _The Third Collect, for Aid against all Perils_ , perhaps better-known by its first line ‘Lighten our Darkness’). The italicised quote at the beginning is the Doctor, from _Doomsday_.

_‘The whole thing would fracture; two Universes would collapse.’_

As a different man, long ago, you used to have so much mercy. And now the woman you love is lost to you for ever because of what's probably the single most stupid act of humanity in the history of the universe.  But for some unfathomable reason, you’re still investing your time and emotional energy defending them from the perils and dangers of the night.

Why should you bother? She’s gone; your radiant Rose is gone, thanks to these fools. And you are furious.  Why is it always _you_ that has to deal with the mess someone else has left behind? You couldn’t care less; the one thing you want to do is figure out a way to get Rose back. Nothing else matters.

You’re not over it, or her. You don’t think you ever will be, although that might be because the loss is still recent and you’re raw with the pain of it, and at present, the one thing you can hope for is the easing of the agony that will come with time. Isn’t time something you, of all people, have in abundance? You’re also hoping to rein in the alarming urge to lash out and make others endure the same pain you’re experiencing, although the knowledge Rose wouldn’t want you avenging her like this tempers the urge to a degree. All the same, it’s hard to repress the impulse; why should they escape scot-free? Why did _you_ have to lose the person you love, and not one of _them_?

There aren’t any answers to that, of course; Fate is always fickle. And to follow through on these urges to punish innocents is something you’ve promised yourself you’d never do. But the longing to see Rose again, the never-ending need to be with her once more, gives you the energy and motivation to search for month after month. You go to the point of (and, perhaps, beyond) madness to find even the smallest gap to let you go through to touch and hold Rose, even if it’s too dangerous to take her back with you.

Colourful words, old and ancient curses in a language none save you speak any longer, echo around the console room when you realise you won’t even get that much. You scream with frustration. All you want, if you must say goodbye, is to touch her when you do, for Chaos’ sake. Why can you not even have that?

You can’t go through, no matter how much you want to. By this stage there is little else you want more, but you cannot risk two universes to gratify yourself. It kills you to admit it but, no matter whether you think the love of your life is worth that risk, you know you cannot do it.


End file.
